Subject Not Appropriate for the Dinner Table

I was surprised to learn that our assignment was to have a conversation about the environment with people who may have differing views because I was going to have dinner at my cousin's house, and this is something I mention every single time I go there. However, this time I tried to focus more on the listening part and less on the talking part.

My cousin and her husband moved to the suburbs in Virginia about two years ago, they both work in Washington so they drive to work everyday for about 45 minutes, and my cousin recently gave birth to a girl. Oh, and they don't recycle (or downcycle as McDonough would say). I have always cringed at their waste habits because absolutely everything goes in the same waste basket, plastic, glass, biodegradables, cans, etc.

During dinner, I decided I would mention something minor just to bring up the topic and see where the discussion followed. I told them that I noticed at last week's birthday party for my baby cousin they had been throwing everything away in the same bag. Everyone just stared at me and my cousin said "not now, we're eating." I knew I had approached the topic the wrong way, and obviously at the wrong time. Instead of bringing up the topic on a personal note, I should have made a more general comment like "so what do you all think about Obama's energy/environmental policies?" Or something of the sort.

After dinner we all sat down in the living room and that's when the discussion ensued. I was asked why I'm so "obsessed" with the environment, and I just told them that they always hear me talk about it, and that I preferred to listen to why they don't care at all about the environment. They said that there are just so many more important things they need to focus on, like raising their daughter. They can't take the time to separate their trash like at the birthday party, because there were about thirty kids that they needed to help look out for. Plus, the environment is there, always has been there, and will always be there, but their daughter is not always going to be one year old. They want to protect their daughter from immediate threats and not from hypotheses...

They awaited my reply. I didn't want to say too much because I knew it would seem like I was trying to control their lifestyle, so I tried to be as brief and factual as possible. I said that while I admired their priority to be good parents, there are other things in the world which are just as important as raising a child, and by neglecting them they are actually doing a disservice to their daughter. I mentioned some things from Cradle to Cradle, such as the toxins found in toys and clothes, but I also mentioned how much personal gain is in looking out for the environment. I told them to think about how much money they would save if they drove to the metro station and from there rode to Washington, they could even wake up later because they wouldn't have to worry about traffic. In the end, they would also have more time to spend with their daughter. They could also save money by unplugging electronics that they didn't use at night, but at the same time they would reduce the risk of disease.

In the end, they all just kind of laughed and said that they at least understood why I had given my baby cousin an organic stuffed animal for her birthday. I think that even though my family doesn't like to hear about this topic, they at least respect me when I am able to back up my arguments with actual evidence and reasons for thinking and behaving the way I do, which means that little by little, if I am just persistent enough, they just might buy that second trashcan.

And I think that is the way with most people as well. As long as you have good enough reasons for thinking the way you do, and present them in a calm fashion after you have let them voice their opinion, they will slowly start to see your point and may actually agree with you. I just hope it doesn't take my family another two years to finally change their habits...